Kids are funny creatures and no matter how hard you try to explain that you love them all, they will always come up with things to drive you crazy.
Today, Charity’s link-up from The Wounded Dove asked us to talk about how we tell our children we Love them and, even more, to tell our children at random times of the day every day that we love them.
I already do that. Every day. Several times a day.
I’m not a big fan of Dr. Phil, but one thing he said that kinda stuck with me years ago is that, “Ya gotta say a 1,000 atta boys for every you’re a jerk kid” kind of statement.
As a mom of five boys, that atta boy thing kinda got me.
As a very imperfect mom who day after day says something I wish I’d held back or said differently, I began right then and there trying to squeeze in those 1000+ atta boys times 5 kids.
That’s a minimum of 5,000 atta boys each day – that’s a LOT of atta boys and random I Love You’s.
And, while I continue to handle things badly on occasion – yep, some days I really blow it! – I continue to try to fit in 5,000 atta boys in little ways from notes in their lunch bags (yep, even the older guys!) to making their favorite cookies, to reading bedtime stories or playing games or family sporting events and yes, even random
I LOVE YOU‘s throughout the day.
And I know my kids are pretty comfortable with how much I Love them because they are confident enough in their knowledge to joke about how LITTLE I Love them.
Yes, you read that right!
Troy started the whole thing years ago.
Troy, remember is hoping to go to college next year for chemical engineering; his mind has always been a math-science whiz, so it should come as no surprise that he came up with the mathematical formula to show how picked upon he is, how little I Love him.
And the younger brothers, delighting in the idea that mom loves them more and also hoping to milk my “lack” of love for them up, played up on Troy’s idea.
Let me explain…
Troy as the oldest was once Loved 100%. He was the darling of two loving parents and could do no wrong…
Matt came along.
At which point, my Love was divided 50-50.
George came along.
Now a normal person (There’s another 1000 atta boys I owe Troy!)
would have thought a Mother’s Love would be divided 100% by 3 kids,
but not Troy.
He figured out that since I always protect the little guy, I couldn’t take away any Love for Matt, which meant I could only split the 50% of my Love I had reserved for Troy between him and George, leaving them with 25% of my Love each.
Noah came along.
And that 50% of Love I had for Matt stayed,
and that 25% of Love I had for George stayed,
but that 25% of Love I had for Troy got split between him and Noah
leaving them with just 12.5% of my Love each.
Kaleb came along.
And by that time (according to Troy) there was only 6.25% of my Love left for each of them.
Do you feel sorry for him?
I Surely do NOT!
I have told him many times, even before I became math certified to teach 7-12 math, that his premise is wrong; that’s not the way Mom’s Love works.
A Mother’s Love is ALWAYS multiplied
And so, it may seem odd to know my children know they are loved because they tell everyone how little they are Loved, but it’s true, and I savor every precious minute of laughter their silly little “poor me” jokes give all of us.
And while, I continue to make mistakes and continue to yell when I shouldn’t and continue to accuse before asking, while I continue to be moody and grumpy and cranky some days and continue to really just all out drop the ball and make mistakes,
at the same time,
I also continue to give all five of those boys random atta boys, which often include walking into a quiet room and stopping or cuddling up with one of them as they sit on the couch to watch tv or something.
I know they know they are Loved when Noah and Kaleb cuddle in close and snuggle up to be almost one with me and I can smell their sweet clean hair or their sweaty little boy smell and I Love each of the two of them 100%.
But I also know my big guys know they are Loved when Troy and Matt and even George now sit up a little straighter as if to get away from me, raise their brow and curl their lip disdainfully as they say respond to my random cuddling and words of I Love You in all seriousness with,
Mom that’s just creepy.
Yeah – and I know that creepy means they Love me too.