*The following is a guest post by Donna Morgese
I’m a Mother, who believes in the Holy Spirit, works hard, and thrives off the magical moments of faith, but I still find myself dealing with revolving challenges from this noisy world, full of distractions. When these feelings strike, a few good antidotes help me get through.
As a single Mother, I’ve blocked out what society expects from me in terms of dating and the chase for a “complete” family consisting of a man and woman in the same house raising children. So many times I’ve seen my single mother friends dating different men and getting them involved too soon, only for a short relationship ride — and poof they’re gone.
5 points that shed light & help on my journey as a single parent.
1. Kids Are a Priority
1 Corinthians 11:3 states, “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” — I believe this to be true for faith-filled, happily married couples but not for divorced, single parents. After a divorce, when a parent is absent from the home, the kids should be the priority, not replacing the absentee spouse.
Instead of sulking in singledom, be filled with joy that you’re able to be a part of your children’s lives and live that to its fullest potential. It won’t be long until they’re grown and out of the house. Marinate in these years while you have the chance. Children are a blessing from God. Psalms 127:3 states “Children are a gift from the Lord, they are a gift from Him.”
Be there for your children every chance you get. Sit next to them while they’re doing homework and allow yourself to be enamored by their intellect. These moments will give you an excellent insight on how well they think critically and function through their school subjects, like math and science.
Children from broken homes need all the comfort they can get and no one will understand them better than their very own parent. Be there for them, they need you more than ever, especially throughout their educational journey.
2. Be Proud to be Single
Many times single parents feel they need to hide in a hole and be ashamed for not having the nuclear family. Some parents feel like they need to meet someone immediately. Don’t put so much emphasis on this. Let things happen organically. What matters most is the emotional environment that you’re providing for your children. When you’re proud of who you are, this will stabilize your emotions and help you interact with your children on a positive note.
Don’t put yourself in a situation where you settle just to have someone around. Use all this time to be a part of your children’s lives. Dating takes a lot of work and, though for the right person, it’s worth it, remember to focus on your kids and tending to their everyday needs.
3. Healthy Living
Being a single parent is a double shift plus overtime. You rarely get a break. Just imagine how many calories you’re burning by doing it all!
The key to rocking single mother hood is keeping active, staying fit, eating well balanced meals and glowing with productivity — all while keeping your faith intact.
Sure there will be days when you want to stay under the covers, watch Netflix all day, and eat an entire pizza, but keep those days to a minimum.
Overall, nourish your body with fruits and vegetables and stay as active as possible. It’s certainly a lot of work raising children but don’t forget to take care of yourself too — the healthy way.
You can’t control everything. At some point, you’ve got to let go and let God take care of your family. The faith that you portray will radiate around you and that’ll attract many positive ventures. God takes care of His people, and He also works in very mysterious ways, but keep the faith and you’ll find your way in the sunshine and the fog.
Teach your children to have faith as well. This will be a virtue they’ll take with them for the rest of their lives. Faith will help both you and your children get through times of worry.
5. Emphasize Learning
Your life has changed, you’re not the typical white picket fenced “Leave it to Beaver” scenario anymore. We all stumble in many ways; the Bible says this. But you’re single so it’s time to open the doors and let all the fresh air in.
You’re starting a new chapter, make it worth it! Pick up a hobby and share it with your children. Get creative, unleash everything but the kitchen sink with creativity. Learn new ways to create things. Learn about the world around you and include your children. This is a method that’ll keep your mind on things that’ll encourage your growth to be a strong role model.
Learn to sew with your daughter, introduce your son to a new sport — whatever it may be, soak it in and learn all you can. Knowledge is power.
There’s nothing more intimate than an up close encounter with your faith when you’re down on your knees praying to God. It’s the sack cloth and ashes that really shed light on what’’s important in life — and it should be your family and loved ones. Especially when a family has been torn and becomes fragile. Take heed to your blessings and be there for your children. Don’t let any feeling of doubt get in the way of that.
Heart blessings photo courtesy of Alice Popkorn/Flickr
And, as always, thanks for commenting, liking, following, and sharing!
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