The boys left for Boy Scout camp this morning. They’re not allowed to use electronics on the trip, but Matt (the only one of the three with a cell phone) brought his phone in case of an emergency, and late that first night the text messages started coming through…
Mom, plz pick me up.
I hate it here.
Plz come get me.
The messages continued until finally…
k but plz come if you can. phones bout to die. love u
Is there anything worse than to have a child beg to come home and know you can’t go get him?
I don’t think so.
I told my son to borrow a leader’s phone so I could talk to him. My heart broke listening to how unhappy he was and I clenched my fists. Some of it was camp related, some of it was this sensitive child, but I couldn’t help but think some of it was the situation and stress the boys left carrying with them.
Others may not have noticed, but I saw the bounce missing from their step as they readied to leave the gun club, and, as I listened to the boy I so desperately wanted to rescue from camp, I couldn’t help but remember how they left only a few hours ago .
As much as my heart broke, as much as I wanted to run right up there and grab my Baby and bring him home with me, I knew I couldn’t. He had made the commitment to stay and he had to work through it.
Telling him that was harder than I can put into words, and I thought about all the times I’ve asked God to rescue me from a situation I was desperately heartbroken over.
And how few times He stepped in and did so.
And how much stronger I am because He didn’t just swoop in and save me even though I’d begged Him to. He had the power to help me in greater ways than I’d asked and the strength to hold that power back.
He had the strength to let me stay until I’d grown.
Would I have the power to do the same for my children?
When we are in a situation we don’t want to be in, even when it’s a situation we were looking forward to once, and we beg God to take us out of that situation, He often leaves us there. I wonder if God feels that same sense of sadness I felt while I told my children to stay at Boy Scout camp, to work their way through it. I wonder if God wants to rush in and rescue us the way I wanted to rush in and rescue my Children. I wonder at the strength God has to hold Himself back and not rush in to “fix everything.”
I didn’t want my boys to go without hope for the whole long week so told them I’d go see them in three days. Three days was a manageable time for them (less so for me I think), but I emphasized that I would not come to pick them up but just to visit and to let them know I Love them.
I Hoped three days would be enough for them to get over their initial dislike of Boy Scout camp and to form friendships.
I hoped it might even be enough time for them to come to like camp.
Three days with minimal, if any, contact with the precious children I knew were so unhappy, three days leaving them in a situation I knew I had the power to end almost instantaneously.
Could we make it through those three days? Would they last? Would I?
Join me Tuesday to see if I drove the over 8 hours round trip to camp and back.
Are you stuck in a place you’d rather leave? What could God be letting you learn from it? What good could come from your being in that situation or place? What might you miss if you leave early?