You know those people with the perfect lawns, the ones where every blade of grass is precisely the same height and not even a flower petal is allowed to touch the ground? Our neighbor is the partial owner of a building store in our area, not a Lowes or Home Depot, but big enough to allow her to send a small army of home improvement trucks to care for her yard a few times a week. In summer, the grass is watered, mowed, and trimmed along pathways. In fall, every leaf is blown, raked, and removed as it falls.
In the Spring, her lawn will blossom due to fertilizer applied with just the right strength for her particular soil.
I am glad she is my neighbor because I look out at her lawn from my living room window, and if I sit in just the right way on my sofa, I cannot see the leaves, sticks, and bare patches scattered across my lawn. I can pretend that bag of garbage the skunk broke into again last night has not really spread trash across our driveway.
How are you like my lawn? If your spouse is having an affair or has met someone else it is probable that he is taking better care of her than he is of you. Does he buy her gifts? Take her out? Compliment her on her clothing, hair, accessories? Does he open doors for her or even enjoy helping her with her housework?
When you first met your spouse it is likely that he did these things for you as well and then over time, life got in the way. Maybe you both got caught up in the daily struggles of survival with housework, children, jobs, and forgot what it means to take care of one another.
If your husband is paying more attention to the other woman, of course she is going to thrive under his care. He will see this new relationship as special and better than anything the two of you ever had together. He sees her sparkle under compliments he has not given you in a long time. She beams in delight under thoughtful trinkets he bestows upon her and glows with the opportunity to do little things for him.
Of course she is going to look good and you cannot control that. So, what can you control?
The Grass Is Always Greener When It’s Well Taken Care Of – So Care For It Yourself
In this time of pain in your life, it is very important that you take care of yourself. Looking out your window at your neighbor’s perfect lawn and being envious, overlooking what is tarnishing your own potential beauty, does nothing to help your situation. Whether your husband is willing to care for you or not, you must care for yourself.
What is it about you that you want to change? What is it you can realistically change at this point? Now is the time to care for yourself because you are worth it! You are a child of God and to think you are worthless is a mistake. God does not make worthless beings. Do not underestimate his creation of you.
Take this time to remake yourself into the person you want to be. Discover who you truly are. What can you do to care for yourself? To make you own grass greener?
Can you walk every day to enjoy fresh air and exercise? Attempt new recipes? Join a Bible study? A book club? Can you learn to knit? Become active in politics?
What can you do that will make you who you were meant to be?
Right now, your neighbor’s grass is greener, and there is no one but you to take care of your own yard. While that may be overwhelming at times, it can also be freeing. You now have the freedom to make your life as green as you believe it can be.
I hope your spouse returns to you. I truly believe people make mistakes and with God’s help we can all overcome them, but if you do find yourself alone for the rest of your life (GULP!) would you rather be remembered as the woman who did so much and smiled all the time or the woman who became overwhelmed, angry, and bitter.
You cannot control whether your husband chooses to fertilize and maintain someone else’s lawn, but you can control how you care for your own. Choose to make your own grass greener, make your lawn one others want to visit as an example of overcoming weeds and drought.