My ex’s girlfriend is the other woman in all our lives. Today she went to my son’s soccer game for the first time. I was unable to go and have not met her in the two and a half years she and my ex have been together, but it still hurts. It’s been a rough couple of weeks.
I am physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted and this news just had me sobbing tonight.
I Wonder About the Other Woman
I wonder about this other woman. She began seeing my husband while I was on a home IV due to pregnancy complications. Has she thought about me being heartbroken, scared, pregnant and alone? Has she considered what damage stress she placed on my children and me may have caused the baby growing inside me? Has she researched what children’s lives are like after divorce?
I wonder if this other woman knows the fear of unemployment? Of foreclosure? Of not being able to provide housing? Or heat? Or food? Or time?
I wonder if this other woman understands complete exhaustion and sleeplessness, being unable to eat and gaining weight, self-doubt (that is so not a strong enough word) and the absolute mandate that you be brave and smiling for your children?
I wonder if this other woman knows or cares how much she has hurt me (That is hard to admit). Or that there are some days the pain is too much to bear and I just don’t want to continue? Does she know or care about the pain she has caused these beautiful, innocent children?
I Will Not Be Defeated
I will continue. I have five beautiful boys and a faith that God does have a plan for us. I hope that part of His plan is for me to help someone who is hurting and reading this, to help them know they can find hope in a better tomorrow. At the same time, I know a chunk of my pain will always be there.
I was scared and pregnant and alone and this other woman took advantage of that and, while I am working on forgiving her, some days I am still literally sick over it.
What I’d Say to You if You Are the “Other Women”
If you are that “other woman,” please stop and think about what you are doing to other people’s lives, to the children who will fall below the poverty level, who will be forced to choose, whose lives you’ve changed not for the better although you try to tell yourself you did, who are suddenly at risk for all sorts of problems, and yes, please think of the wife who is hurting in a way you and most others cannot comprehend, a way no living soul should ever hurt.
To all the “other women” of the world: Think of yourself and ask, “If he was able to lie so well with his wife, won’t he be lying to me soon enough?” Don’t you deserve better too? Aren’t you worth more than this?
Sometimes the pain is too much. It is overwhelming, crushing, defeating. I want to be Single Mom Smiling, but at the same time I promised to give an accurate view of what divorce is and what it does to those involved.
Tonight’s post is difficult to share because of the depth of my pain, but for that reason alone it needs to be shared.