God really does answer prayers. For the past three years, I have been struggling to keep our home from foreclosure. I have been trying and hoping to sell the house, but my ex husband refused to sign the papers, preferring to allow the house to be foreclosed upon rather than allow me to see the profit from any sale. My credit has been destroyed and a piece of my heart remains in that house.
Yesterday, I received a notice in the mail saying the house would be put up for public auction in about three weeks. I was heartbroken. This was our home, my home. This was the place my husband and I had planned to retire. My children had just asked last week if we could go back and have a campfire like we used to. The home may not have meant anything to my husband, but it meant something to the rest of us.
He failed to pay child support, causing us to be cold in a winter with a new baby, to go to local churches for food, and to now lose our home. My mother cashed in her retirement a year ago to buy us the house we now live in, and I appreciate that, but this is a house, not our home. My heart always thought I’d figure out a way to get the boys back into their home. Now, I am guessing that will not happen, and truthfully, part of me is fearful that my husband’s girlfriend, a wealthy single woman, will buy the house at that auction. Part of me does not think they would do that, but I am so amazed at the turn of events and how they could do so many things they’ve done over the past three years that I cannot help but think it sometimes.
So, there I was this morning, crying as I read through the foreclosure documents and the injustices I have suffered these past three years, and I begged God for answers. “I don’t understand what happened here God. What happened to my life?”
I looked for answers in my Bible and, like I often do, I asked God to answer my prayers by telling me where to read. I opened to a page and skimmed it over. This was not the right place. I just knew it. I flipped through again wanting to stop here and there but feeling compelled to move on until I knew I was where I was meant to be. I looked down and, still rather new to studying the Bible, this was not a section I had read before.
Sirach: 29 Loans, Alms, and SuretyLend to your neighbor in his time of need, and pay back your neighbor when a loan falls due. Keep your promise, be honest with him, and you will always come by what you need. Many a man who asks for a loan adds to the burden of those who help him; When he borrows, he kisses the lender’s hand and speaks with respect of his creditor’s wealth; But when payment is due he disappoints him and says he is helpless to meet his claim. If the lender is able to recover half, he considers it an achievement; If not, he is cheated of his wealth and acquires an enemy at no extra charge; With curses and insults, the borrower pays him back, with abuse instead of honor. Many refuse to lend, not out of meanness, but from fear of being cheated. (2-7)
(These are just a few lines from Sirach 29. I will include further study in another post, but I hope you will read the full chapter. It is well worth the time. Sirach 29)
God Answers Prayers
So what did I get from reading Sirach 29? God answer prayers. He really does. I could have stopped at any one of the other pages I was about to read, but SOMEONE drove me to read Sirach 29. Some may not believe it, but if you ask the Lord for help, He does answer prayers.
God did not tell me I would avoid the impending foreclosure, but He did tell me he understood, that others have been there, that He too is upset by the failure to repay the mortgage. I know God answers prayers, not necessarily the way I would like him to but in His own way, and that we will be okay. He knows our plight. He is still Master of our Plan.
I felt a peace settle over me despite wanting things to be different. I begged Him to forgive me for my doubts and for the things I had done to destroy my marriage as it occurred to me again that, while I did not deserve this treatment, I was far from perfect and had done things I would do differently. I think it would be difficult to find anyone who has been married who could say they have not ever made mistakes, but that does not excuse any of us and we all must ask for forgiveness.
And again, I knew that God answers prayers. He does forgive me even though I am not worthy of us forgiveness and He does know what I am continuing to go through. I have done all I can. Now I can let God do all He will.