Keeping Faith and Finding Understanding

Sometimes keeping faith is difficult and finding understanding is nearly impossible. A friend told me something today which, although I half understand his motives, made me feel very betrayed. The betrayal hurt and shocked me in a world where I didn’t think I could be so hurt and shocked anymore. It has also made me question his friendship and how much I can really trust him, and I find myself questioning my judgment again.
I picked up the Bible seeking comfort, seeking answers. I asked God to guide me to what I needed to know and understand and opened to Malachi 2:16, “For I hate divorce says the Lord, the God of Israel,” I had heard that verse before and had even known it was in Malachi, but hadn’t been able to find it in my quick rummaging through the book.
I wept silently and very briefly. There it was in black and white. God hates divorce. He knows what this has done to our family, to me, to my boys, to my husband, to our extended family, to our friends. The betrayal I feel is part of what God meant when he said he hates divorce. God hates evil. Divorce is evil. Betrayal is evil. Whether what my friend did was actually betrayal or just my warped interpretation of it, betrayal is evil.
I read on…
“And covering one’s own garment with injustice, says the Lord of hosts You must safeguard life that is your own and not break faith” (Malachi 2:16). I am taking this to mean, I cannot control what others do, but it is essential that I watch what I do. Kind of a plank in my own eye type of reference. I must keep my faith. To that end, God knows better than I do what my friend is thinking. It is out of my hands and for that I am grateful and do find rest. I will not judge my friend or question my own judging of him as a friend.
Reading on…
You have wearied the Lord with your words, yet you say, “How have we wearied him?” By your saying every evil doer is good in the sight of the Lord and he is leased with him” or else, “Where is the just God?” (Malachi 2:17). Again, God knows better than I the motives of my friend, and I will trust in God that if my friend is betraying me, I will learn of it and be okay with it because of God’s comfort and protection. God knows evil doers better than the men on earth who mistakenly say every evil does is good.