“Lord, I am not worthy that You should enter under my roof…”
I sat in the wing of our church and said the words thinking how true they are.
I am so not worthy.
But Who Is & What Makes One Worthy?
When abuse, abandonment, divorce, or other tragedies occur, the victim is often left feeling unworthy; and many have been left feeling downright worthless. When one experiences such trauma, there is a tendency to question whether one has any value at all, and, if so, what that value could possibly be.
In the case of marital abandonment, the person you Loved the most has fired you from your most important job, that of being a Wife. At the same time, you lose the job of being a full-time Mother since now you are forced to split custody. You lose the job of compromiser, since now you must handle all the discipline yourself. You lose the role of confidant, since now half your children’s lives are somewhere else and only they know the Truth about both lives. You struggle to find work and face rejection after rejection when job hunting. You lose your home and the place that was your comfort and where your future was built.
There is a tendency to blame yourself for those losses.
I should have honored my husband more. I should have kept a cleaner house. I should have gotten that advanced degree. I shouldn’t have quit my job to stay home with my kids. I should have worked out more. I should eat less. I should…
I sat in church Sunday thinking of how quickly we tie our worth to things that shouldn’t determine worth, of how deeply we blame ourselves for our losses, and of how quickly we become mired in condemnation and feelings of worthlessness. Sometimes blame is justified. At those times, we should ask forgiveness, make corrections, learn from our mistakes, and move on, but we are not called to be stuck in feelings of worthlessness.
The only thing that should determine our worth is the Love the Lord has for us,
And I know I am not worthy of that Love.
And I sat in church on Sunday, waiting to receive Communion, and said the words aloud.
“Lord, I am not worthy that You should enter under my roof…”
And I listened to the voices echoing the same sentiment from those around me.
I looked around to see the faces of my friends and neighbors. These are people I’ve known for a long time, people I greatly admire and respect and Love, people I laugh with and joke with, people with children I adore, people I hug on sight and then feel my heart sing, people who are Good and Kind and Wonderful, people I wish I was more like.
And people who repeated the same words aloud,
“Lord, I am not worthy that You should enter under my roof…”
These are some of the most wonderful people in the world, and yet, here they were repeating what has been said by Christian Believers for thousands of years.
“”Lord, I am not worthy that You should enter under my roof…”
And the truth is that these people I admire and respect and Love and want to be more like are truly not worthy.
I am not worthy, but neither is he or she or any of them!
None of us is worthy, but it is not worthiness that led the Father to send His Son.
It is not worthiness that made Jesus come to us.
It is Love and the Healing offered through the Lord’s sacrifice.
Lord, I am not worthy that You should enter under my roof,
But only say the word, and my soul shall be healed.
It is not our worthiness that makes the Lord Love us. I am not worthy. You are not worthy, but we are Loved perfectly by One who is.
True worth is only determined by the Love the Lord has for you; you are worthy of God’s Love, not for anything you have, not for being a good homemaker, not for being well-educated, not having a high paying job, not even for being a wife or mother.
You are worthy of God’s Love only because He, in His infinite Goodness, chooses to Love you.
And that Love can never be lost.
God Bless…
