One year ago I made my Consecration to Jesus through Mary on February 11th, the Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes. I’m still processing the awesome reality of lasting change that can only have come through giving myself in Marian Consecration. I’m still in wonder over God’s Grace permitting a poor wretch like me to Consecrate myself to Jesus’ Immaculate Heart in a way I didn’t think was possible and was certainly not comfortable with in my limited understanding.
Let me explain my reluctance to Consecrate myself…
Only a few days before Consecration and several years after pledging to leave my lukewarm, “good-enough” faith behind, I found myself again at a fork in the road.
There was no turning back. Of that much I was certain. I pray God’s Grace prevents me from ever turning my back on the Lord or returning to tepid faith.
On the other hand, I stubbornly refused to move ahead. I stood at that fork facing a decision: Would I move forward and give myself in Consecration or would I stay where I was?
Looking back, I still see no valid third choice.
I was at a point where I loved God with all I could love. I finally knew He Loved me beyond my comprehension. I was finally learning to accept who I was, forgive my past, and fearlessly look forward to whatever my future held. My faith was strong. My life was good. I was unwilling to cross into the unknown. I was happy where I was!
Marian Consecration would shake that!
Looking back I see that, without realizing it, I stood there fearful of what God was calling me to, confused by my fear, and a bit prideful thinking the faith I had was the best faith to be had. I had unknowingly fallen again for my faith as “good enough” faith and put my faith in my faith rather than in the Lord and His Love.
Still, I could not move ahead. I was confused and afraid and lost and alone. While others were celebrating their Consecration decisions, I was not ready. I was terribly uncomfortable with the Consecration wording, especially with giving my all to Mary. I had already promised to give my all to God. How could I do that for Mary as well?
As a rejected spouse who intimately knows the wounds of infidelity and abandonment, I could not imagine voluntarily wounding God the same way. I knew God isn’t “wounded” the way we are, but my heart had developed a longing to fill God with Joy and I couldn’t imagine Him being Joy-filled by my giving myself to another, even to His precious Mary.
I had made God like me.
I assumed God could not be Joy-filled by me spreading my love anymore than I could be Joy-filled at my husband’s spreading his emotions. Wouldn’t giving myself to Mary in Consecration be a betrayal similar to, but infinitely, unimaginably, horribly worse than, spousal infidelity?
I had missed the point of Marian Consecration.
Marian Consecration is not giving oneself to Mary OVER Jesus. It is giving oneself to Jesus through Mary. It is a seeing of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in a new, brighter, clearer light through the eyes of Mary. Mary does not replace Jesus but brings us to Him in a special, unique way. She is the one the Trinity themselves had chosen to bring Jesus to us 2000 years ago. She is still one they still choose to help bring Jesus to us today!
Marian Consecration can never place Mary above Jesus. Jesus is our Christ, and Mary is submissive to Him. Jesus is Divine, and Mary is human. Jesus is worthy of Worship, and Mary is worthy of admiration. Jesus is our one and only Savior, and Mary is in need of Her Savior Son.
There is a difference, and that difference could never allow choosing Mary over Jesus!
I had missed the point of Marian Consecration, but, as I reflected on coming to Jesus through Mary, I realized I’d missed the point of Marian Consecration on a level far deeper than I’d thought. I realized, Consecrating myself to Jesus through Mary is not a betrayal of God’s Love at all.
God is Love.
Nothing changes that! Not what I do, not what my sons, family, friends, enemies, Church or national leaders do changes God who is True Love.
Because God is Love, His Love is infinite, vast, unending, immeasurable, unchanging, undivided, eternal, and limitless. God’s Love is not held back by human understandings and constraints. God wants His Love freely distributed, not just to those we see but to those who have gone before us and are very much alive after death, those like our loved ones, our Saints, and especially His Chosen Mary!
God chose Mary, not to share in His Divinity, but to share in His Love. Because of God’s choice, we must also choose Mary, not to Worship as Divine Being, but as one to give our love. Because God choose Mary, we must also choose Mary.
Because God is Love, He desires His Love to be multiplied and made greater, not divided and excluding. We, who have a limited understanding of Love, see Love as something we give in limited portions to one or to another. We see love of husband and wife and know, KNOW, the inherent wrongness of inviting a third person into that love. We feel love for many children, but those who live under our roofs are loved in an extra special way.
Our understanding and ability to love is limited so we cannot fully understand God or His desire for Love to be multiplied and given freely, unselfishly, and limitlessly to all.
Our ability to love does not change God, but His ability to Love and His desire to have us love more and better as a reflection of His Love changes us.
On the same note, our inability to love does not change God or His Love, but it does change our perception of God and limits Love in our minds. It forces us to feel the need to choose. We feel we must hold at arm’s length those God Loves and wants us to love because through our eyes we see love as limited and possessive rather than as limitless and inclusive as God does.
I realized I was withholding love for My Mary who is chosen and Loved by the Lord. My rejection of her was based on my own limited view of and ability to love. It was based on my own inability to accept God’s Love working in me and to believe He could give me the power to love more fully than I already was. It was based on my own belief that I did not have enough love in me to love Mary and to God too. I had limited God’s Love in my life by my belief that the love I had was the best love I could possibly give.
Once I accepted that God is Love, that He wants us to Love others wholly and completely as He does, that He can give us the power to love more selflessly and inclusively, and that loving another completely does not mean forgetting God is Lord of all, Consecration made more sense yet I knew others would not understand. If I truly believed God is Love and He wants us to Love all better, I needed to share His Love, to be able to explain to others, to not withhold love from anyone, and to go out and proclaim the Gospel by living Love better for all.
Even knowing God’s limitless Love and desire to spread His Love, I knew there would be those who would continue to doubt Mary’s ability to lead us closer to God, I needed to look at Marian Consecration Biblically and better understand God’s choices too. My next post will would explain that.