I’m not a doctor, but I’m diagnosing myself with Over-Syndrome.
Lately I’ve been going through a difficult streak. You know what I mean. We all have them, those times when everything seems to be going wrong, when the only light at the end of the tunnel seems to be an oncoming train and we wonder what the purpose of all THIS is.
I haven’t been feeling well for several weeks, but I think I’m mostly suffering from being overwhelmed and overtired. My ex-husband, two jobs, job search, blogging, paperwork, finances, messy house, kids…you name it, its all been stressing me out.
Even summer vacation plans are causing stress as I try to find a week when none of the children have an activity and we can make a 3000 mile drive in our GIHIMI minivan (God-I-Hope-It-Makes-It minivan) to look at a college Troy wants to see, a college I really think would be a good fit – if we can afford it and if we can both deal with him being so far away – more MAJOR stressors.
And there are some days when quite truthfully, I just want to run away, far, far, FAR away. Away from all the stress and the demands and the worry. Away from the running here and there. Away from making dinners and facing mountains of laundry. Away from 5:00 AM wake-ups and midnight bedtimes. Away from the impatient, easily aggravated stranger I’ve become lately.
I’ve been so Overwhelmed, Overtired, and Overburdened by all that life is throwing at me. I will “celebrate” the fifth anniversary of my husband leaving on Mother’s Day this year and marvel at how life can still be an incredible struggle.
And I just want to get away.
Many of my friends are traveling over Easter break, getting away from the cold and gray that still surrounds our area. My ex and his girlfriend travel the world, flying first class, staying in fancy hotels, and eating out at fine restaurants. Not too long ago they vacationed on an island, and they recently just returned from a trip to London.
And I am stuck here.
Did I really just say that?
Compared to so many other women?
Am I really bemoaning my life???
Lately, I’ve fallen into the trap of comparing my life to the lives of others, especially my ex and his girlfriend and I’ve been envious of how easy their lives are compared with mine and wondering what I did to deserve this?
But that’s the wrong question. I can’t compare myself to others. I can’t know what judgment God has in store for them, and I must not try to guess.
When I feel myself sinking into that self-pitying Over-Syndrome, I must question why I’ve forgotten some other Over-words God has given us.
For example, in the last five years, God has allowed us to begin Overhauling our lives. I wouldn’t trade the struggles I have now for the man my ex-husband has become. I don’t know what the final outcome of this Overhaul will be, but I’m grateful to be on this road rather than where my ex would have led us.
With God’s help, I have accomplished things I never would have attempted before. He has made me an Overachiever.
And, as much as I sometimes feel like I can’t do this even one more day, I know God can Overpower anything I come up against, including my own negativity.
I know, with His help, I can be an Overcomer
and for that, I am Overjoyed.
Get up and dance to one of may favorite songs by one of my favorite recording artists,