Sometimes the little things which help boys become men can cause great stress for children with missing fathers. I saw this firsthand as my 14 year old asked about learning how to shave, but there was no one around to help him.
Although the boys’ father still sees them a few hours once a week and takes some of the boys every other weekend, they no longer have the type of relationship or the time it takes to sit with one child and discuss things that really matter, and to a 14 year old, learning how to shave really does matter.
That left the job up to Troy and me to solve.
I looked up learning how to shave on Youtube. Thank God for the good stuff on Youtube! After all, Youtube, Troy, and I worked together to teach Matt how to tie a tie earlier this year. It could help Troy with learning how to shave too!
I asked a good friend if I could talk to her husband about shaving. Thank God for good friends! She laughed and agreed and I got shaving advice and practiced (with no razor!) shaving on my own face before showing Troy.
The friend also agreed to talk to Troy if they got the opportunity without the other kids around, but those times are few and far between.
There are just some things a man is better at and teaching a boy to shave is one of them. I wonder how many more of these little moments I would wish the boys had a live-in father to teach them.
Troy went into the bathroom last night, shaved his upper lip, and did a fine job. I still wish he had a good role model close enough to help him with these things, but admire him for being a man about it.
Sometimes it’s the little things that happen every day that make you the person you are. It is how you handle the little things that show a person’s strength and prepare them to handle the big things. I am proud of Troy. I know he must have been nervous and uncomfortable about learning to shave on his own, but he did it without complaining. He was faced with a challenge and met it. In the face of missing fathers, what better way can we hope our boys become men?
Learn a lesson from your children when they step up. Rather than mourning for what they are missing, prayerfully take pride in their self-reliance and independence. You can give them something better than a lesson in shaving, you can give them opportunities and self-confidence to tackle obstacles successfully.
God Bless… ___________________________________________________________________________________
SMS Tuesday posts deal with family issues especially those concerning children. Posts offer advice and tips and share laughter and tears that come with raising happy, healthy, God loving children as a single parent.
1 thought on “The Little Things Which Help Boys Become Men – Learning How to Shave & Missing Fathers”
What great memories this brought! When I was first alone, my boys’ father refused to see them the first couple years. I was manicured and sweater set, but went out and got every sporting equipment looked up online how to play lacrosse, I took them fishing (yuck), we played football, baked cakes, collected bugs. I could never trade that kind of living away for any man’s part, half, or weak attempt to be a partner. I’m 7 months pregnant and my new husband left. It obviously must be me but I have happy, pleasant children everyone compliments and adores, I am pretty happy and am surrounded by loving, support, positive people that really make a difference in this world. I choose lousy mates.
Congratulations single parent, I hope you are filled with joy!
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