Why I Drove to Tulsa as a Single Mom

My kids were going to their dad’s for a few weeks, and I wondered how I’d survive without them. The agony of surviving sans kids had lessened over the years, but the gut punch of its wrongness would never go away.

No mother should be forcibly separated from her children without just cause.

But America’s “justice” system cares little for facts and even less for truth abandoned parents speak.

I had to face the reality that my kids were going away. I probably wouldn’t know where. I probably wouldn’t be allowed to talk with them while they were gone. My kids and I probably wouldn’t be able to do a lot of things even the courts said we should.

Sometimes my head would whisper, “Yes, like breathe. I probably won’t be able to breathe without them.”

There were times, especially early in abandonment, that not breathing seemed like a good alternative to having my beating heart torn out while I tried to go on living.

So with a few weeks to myself, not a lot of money, and no partner to share burdens or laughter with, I needed to figure out what to do with myself.

I could clean out closets. I could phone friends. I could sit by the town pool, wash my car, or do a dozen other things, but none appealed to me. It wasn’t that I wouldn’t have liked to chat with friends or laze by a pool all day. It was just that, at the end of the day, I would still come home to a house that was too quiet, too empty, too dark, too lonely.

I’d still come home and know those who had my heart were eating someone else’s food, laughing at someone else’s jokes, and sleeping in someone else’s house.

I didn’t want to ruminate on that and knew, if I wanted to break free, I needed to do something drastic!

That’s when I hopped in my minivan and started driving.

Breaking Free From Thoughts in Your Head to Find Gratitude in Your Heart

The year was 2022. Covid was still a cause for conflict dividing the country in crazy ways:  mask vs unmasked, vaxxed vs. unvaxxed, BLM vs. law and order…the list could go on. I was confused and saddened by what was happening to the country I loved.

Next week, I’ll explain some of why I love America so much, especially as a single mom, but as someone who was so caught up in conflict at home, I didn’t want conflict to be the narrative of America too. If I wanted to influence that narrative for good, I couldn’t just drive around the country seeing pretty things and changing just my own mindset. I needed to share with other people too!

That’s where the real adventure began!

Everywhere I went, I started asking people what they loved about America and video taping their responses. The results were amazing!

First, I met Destiny at the Wright Brothers’ childhood home in Ohio.

Years ago, I’d read of the tragedy and heroism of the USS Indianapolis so made sure to stop and pay my respects. There, I met the Bauer family who spoke of freedom and appreciating America no matter what others think or say.

I met Mr. and Mrs. Oklahoma who were so full of laughter in the 100 degree Tulsa heat that I couldn’t help but laugh with them despite being sweaty, hot, and tired.

I met Rick and Kim at this gorgeous (and rickety!) yellow bridge over Table Rock Lake. Rick was a veteran who spoke of things he’d seen in other parts of the world. He spoke of kids eating out of garbage dumps and women needing to cover head to toe. Kim spoke of freedom of speech. Both agreed many Americans don’t know how fortunate we are.

At Bill Clinton’s childhood home, I met Diana and Karen. Sisters-in-law who were driving with their kids to meet up with their husbands who had gone away for work. They were the sweetest family!

I got to meet people – LuAnn, Colleen, Kara, and Heyka – who I’d known for years through social media. It was wonderful to like them even more “in real life” and truly get to call them friends.

My Invitation to You…

As I scroll through my videos, I want to upload every one! Practicality tells me that would make uploading this blog page take too long. I will post them on social media over the next few weeks. You can find the videos on Facebook and Instagram.

One of the interesting things was that these people thanked me for what I was doing.

What they didn’t realize was how much they were doing for me!

By the time I pulled into my driveway two weeks after heading out, I was tired. I needed a long, clean shower in my own bathroom. I ached and looked forward to a night in my own bed where I could completely let my guard down and sleep. I have to admit, I was also feeling the loneliness of being on the road alone.

But I had also changed!

I had done something completely out of my comfort zone. I had traveled and seen gorgeous things most Americans will not get to see. I had met people who were so interesting and beautiful. I had learned people are more willing to share and be kind than we give them credit for. I had learned most people want to believe in the good. I had also learned most people have a harder time articulating the good even when they see and feel it.

Two weeks earlier, I had left my house with no game plan and very little money. I just had a few weeks alone and a lot of open road in front of me.

I had left in part to escape.

I returned with new vision and memories that will last a lifetime.

I also returned with a confidence that only comes from doing what is difficult and connecting with others in ways we don’t often do anymore.

The message I want to give you is that you don’t have to do something as crazy as jumping into your minivan and driving across this big, beautiful country this summer, but please do something!

Make that something a bit out of the ordinary. Push your limits. Go places you haven’t been. Talk with strangers. Ride your bike. Sit in Adoration. Take your shoes off and walk barefoot. Read a book. Start every day with “Coffee with Jesus” time and daily Scripture and Bible reading. Paint. Dance. Sing.

Summer is a time to relax and unwind. It is also a time the devil comes out to play when routines are different and we feel alone, but you are never alone in your aloneness. When you make the effort to move and take risks before your mind is fully on board, your mind usually follows. Your attitude changes. Your heart changes. Your outlook changes. Your relationships change. Your life changes.

This summer, consider what rejuvenates you and move forward.

You don’t need a lot of money.

You don’t need a partner.

You don’t need a well-laid out plan.

You just need to trust and take a risk. Step forward in faith.

If you’d like help discovering what will help you rest and rejuvenate, reach out. I’m sure together we can come up with many ideas!

And when you find “your thing” I’d love to hear about it! Send me an email or connect on social media to share what you choose to do this summer!

God Bless…

Kerri

Kerri@SingleMomSmiling.com

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