Single Mom Smiling is a hodgepodge of many things - life is a hodgepodge of many things! It's when we try to compartmentalize, to order everything into our neat and tidy ideas of how life should be that we run into our biggest obstacles.
I thought about building separate sites for every concern I faced as a single mom: parenting, crisis pregnancy, faith, divorce, abandonment, social issues, single parenting…the list could go on forever.
But that's not how we live. Life is meant to be lived together - a hodgepodge of things, ideas, and people. Life is not neat or compartmentalized. Life can be messy.
And God is meant to be the common denominator bringing order to the disorder we bring upon ourselves.
It is that search for God in life's messiness that I hope best sums up what SingleMomSmiling is all about.
For me, God is fundamental to who I am and why I write here at Single Mom Smiling.
God is not something I pull out every Sunday for an hour at Mass and lock away the rest of the week. God is part of my daily life.
God is with me when I wish Him, "Good Morning," before putting my feet on the floor by my bed.
God is with me when I thank Him for that first cup of coffee - and its mountains of sugar and milk.
God is with me later when I step on the scale and wish I had cut back on that sugar and milk.
God is with me when I gently kiss my sweetly sleeping children to rouse them for school - and He is with me when they snarl back.
God is with me when I return for the umpteenth time, no longer gently kissing sweet little heads, but now loudly voicing threats from the doorway aimed at anyone who refuses to, "Get up, NOW!"
God is with me when I return to the boys' school for the third time that daybecause, in their morning stupor, someone forgot something.
God is with me when I face a mountain of unfolded laundry, a sink full of dirty dishes, and a roomful of clutter.
God is with me when I get rejected for that job I had my hopes set on - again.
God is with me when I have time to shop but no money to spend on food.
God is with me when I work three jobs and have money for food but no time to shop.
God is with me when I'm scrambling to throw together dinner for six in between jobs.
God is with me when I'm exhausted and declare it's mac and cheese from a box night and my applauding children make me wonder why I ever serve anything else.
God was with me as a child when I faced abuse and misunderstanding, when no one liked me, when I thought I was ugly and dumb and good for nothing.
God was with me when I found out I was pregnant, when I became sick, when I thought that baby would have problems, and when my husband of 14 years suddenly left for a girlfriend he reconnected with on Facebook.
God is with me when my children are sick, injured, hurting, and broken hearted, when the courts fail to enforce child support or honor painful custody issues.
God was with me when we had no heat, when social services turned me away because my paperwork said I should be getting support even though we were not.
God was with me when I couldn't afford Christmas or birthdays, when my house was foreclosed on and my credit was destroyed, when I was forced to settle, and when…when…when...
when my heart broke.
when my mind screamed.
when my body shook.
when I thought my world had ended.
God was with me.
God was even with me the night I took every Cross off our walls and threw them across the back yard.
Yes, God was with me even then.
Now, I have finally learned my lesson (I think! I hope! I pray!)
GOD WILL BE WITH ME,
AND I WILL BE WITH GOD
And that is when I began realizing that I was never good for nothing
that God doesn't make anyone good for nothing,
but that it takes some of us a long time to realize we have value.
And that is why SingleMomSmiling.com is a hodgepodge. I think, I hope, I pray that in each post, you find God and recognize that He is always a part of your life too and that there is a little something that draws you closer to His peace and Love and Strength and Grace and Courage and Goodness.
We cannot compartmentalize life. It doesn't come in neat little boxes with ribbons and bows and color coded labels.
Sometimes life is messy and ugly and scary and bad, but God is always there for all of us - whether you know Him or not, He knows and loves you in every part of your life and in all you do. That is why SingleMomSmiling is a hodgepodge of most things that are me.
Thank you for joining me in Single Mom Smiling.
Life is Good!
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