Rick Santorum, CS Lewis, and True Friendship

 

Heart

Share your heart with a friend.

Rick Santorum thanked his wife for her support using a C.S. Lewis quote about true friendship. After the Iowa caucus last week Santorum said, “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”

Last week I gave a bit of background on Rick Santorum, his marriage, and how that quote applies to marriage, divorce, and learning the song in your own heart before sharing it with someone else. This week, I want to apply that quote to true friendship and whom to share your heart song with.

Who are your friends?

Taking time to learn the song in your heart is an important step in the healing process but knowing the song yourself is not enough. You must share that song with others to make it viable, but in this fragile state, how do you take the risk of sharing your heart song?

This is where true friendship is helpful. The Bible says, “With close custody, guard your heart, for in it are the sources of life” (Proverbs 4:23). This warns us against jumping into any deep relationship or spill the things that mean the most to you to everyone. Choose your friends wisely. Be sure those with whom you share your heart song are listening for the right reasons and not just to get (and repeat) hot gossip.

If You Have Lost Touch With Your Friends

If you have been cut off from your friends through distance, life circumstances, or other factors, it is important that you reach out to trusted and loved old friends and/or find new ones. You may need to apologize for being out of touch or other mistake, but true friendships are worth that apology and it may be a helpful part of reconnecting.

When making or rebuilding friendships, build bridges slowly and carefully. You may be tempted to go into detail about how you feel or how wronged you have been, but this can come later. Be positive about life and the plans God has for you. Positive people are magnets for others whereas negative people repel others.

To Have a Friend, You Must Be A Friend

Be sure that you are not always harping on how bad your situation is. While sharing details with one or two close trusted friends may be cleansing and good for you, if you are always dumping on them and never allowing them to vent on you or discuss their troubles without interruption, you will find yourself isolated again. Remember, your problems are not the only problems in the world and, as bad as they are, they are probably far from being the worst problems in the world.

To have a friend, be a friend. That means asking friends about their lives and really listening with eye contact and questions for clarification. This shows involvement and interest in their feelings. Show concern for their lives and their family members and see what you can do to help in their times of need. It may be something as simple as sending a card when sthey are going through a rough time or picking up a gallon of milk to save them a trip to the store-anything to let them know you are reciprocating their friendship, thinking of them, and putting them first.

And don’t forget your friends in good times. Make an effort to reach out to friends when things are going well too. Sharing only bad times darkens any relationship. Bring light and joy to your relationships and share the good God puts into each day!

Try This in Your SMS Notebook

  • Make a list friends who lift you up more than pull you down, are trustworthy, and who will pull you back if you start to slide down the wrong path.
  • If you find yourself complaining or speaking negatively counter it with speaking positively at least twice as often .
  • Keep a track of how often you ask about and listen to your friends stories.

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Thursday posts offer information on rebuilding you, stay tuned for next Thursday’s post – Rick Santorum, C.S. Lewis, and Finding True Friendship.

 Photo credit

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